A pimp in a bottle

Debby, my sister who came on the 1st 1/2 of my book tour with me and I were in a jewelry shop in Pacific Grove.
It was a quirky shop with fossils and rocks strewn among necklaces and weights. We were poking about when in walked a pimp.
Really. He wore white jogging clothes…I think. It’s hard to remember because round his neck hung  about a kilo of gold, gold and diamonds. It blinded me to the rest of his ensemble.
When he opened his mouth, a tiny (ish) diamond  glittered, cradled in a nest of gold on his tooth. (Having had a lot of dental work, always makes me sensitive about nonessential drilling.) Out of his pockets the pimp fished stray chains and single diamond earrings to sell.
Where does one get single diamond earring? 
A few days later Debby got me a ” grow a pimp” a tiny figure, about .4″, resplendent in purple shoes, jacket and hat that expands to “600 times it’s mass” in water. It looks more like a leprechaun than a pimp…  
We waited till we arrived at a great  hotel, filled the bathtub, released our pimp and waited. Nothing happened. An hour later nothing had continued happening, so I read the label….It’s never a good idea to read a label first, it robs your mind of all the aerobic exercise it gets trying to figure out why things don’t work.
 ” It may take the pimp up to 10 days to grow… . This is natural. The slimy,icky texture is normal.” 
So I put my pimp in a water bottle and waited. It was my constant companion as I drove the Northwest.
Reminds me of that Jim Croce song… “It I could save time in a bottle.”
Except with me it’s “If I had a pimp in a bottle.”
The pimp is grown now. He’s about 2″ tall and shaped like a gorilla in a purple coat (shoes and hat.)
Big hands! You know what they say about big hands?

About E.E. King

E.E. King’s has published many short stories. Ray Bradbury calls E.E. King a writer “marvelously inventive, wildly funny and deeply thought provoking. I can not recommend her highly enough.” HER NEW COLLECTION new Collection of Short Fiction “Another Happy Ending,” comes out in October 2013. There is a book launch and party @ Ray Bradbury’s favorite Bookstore Mystery and Imagination Bookstore October 20th @ 2:00 -3:00pm Her first novel, Dirk Quigby’s Guide to the Afterlife, came out 2010, released in Spanish in 2/2012. She is performing bits of "Dirk Quigby’s Guide to the Afterlife, all you need to know to choose the right heaven.” (in costume) October 30th @ 7:30-8:30 @Echo Park in “Stories Book and Café.” 1716 West Sunset Blvd • Los Angeles • CA [213] 413-3733 The New Short Fiction Series, Los Angeles’ longest running spoken word series, launched her anthology, Real Conversations With Imaginary Friends, 1/2012. Sponsor, Barnes & Noble. All her books as well as her children’s book The Adventures of Emily Finfeather or The Feathernail and Other Gifts are currently available on audible. E.E. King is the recipient of various international writing, biology and painting grants. Her murals can be seen in Downtown Los Angeles and Spain. Elizabeth Eve King has a background in teaching, painting, theater, comedy and biology. She will be an artist in residence at the Masterworks Museum of Bermuda Art June -Sept 2015 Ms. King is the recipient of two International Tides painting fellowships, and two international biology Earthwatch grants. She was an advisor for the J. Paul Getty’s and the Science Center’s, Arts &; Science program. She was the Science and Arts coordinator in Bosnia with Global Children’s Organization (a summer camp for war orphans and refugees) in 2000. She was the founding Arts & Sciences Director for Esperanza Community Housing Corporation . She’s worked with children in Bosnia, crocodiles in Mexico, frogs in Puerto Rico, egrets in Bali, mushrooms in Montana, archaeologists in Spain and planted butterfly gardens in South Central Los Angeles. The butterflies wish she had chosen a different location. Her short stories have been published widely
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