Pandora’s Card Game

My newest book is finally out and it’s received some very good reviews. It’s odd and interesting to read reviews, to see another perspective not only on your writing but on you.

Reviews always make me sound brave instead of unconscious. They make it seem as though I intentionally comment, instead of blundering into delicate subjects and knock them off the ledges of my shaky cerebral cortex.

I wonder how many writers are that deliberate – besides Machiavelli that is.

I’m tempted to quote all the reviews- basking in the warm glow of praise on this cold winter day, but instead, I’ll make a poem by taking lines from each review.

If you want to read the full reviews, or better yet read the book, click on the poem:

The cover was a photo taken in my Mother’s yard using four actresses who volunteered their time and talent. uuse card

 

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Secret Diaries

Source: Secret Diaries

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Secret Diaries

 

 

 

 

The Secret Diaries of the White Gold House Redecorator

 

Day 1:

Just got a job as the White House Redecorator and Holiday Planner, because ya know, the place needs a lot more gold… also more stuffed lions. Fact is, I’m thinking of lining the entire front walkway with stuffed lions and maybe a couple of elephants as a shout out to Eric. The Orange Dude loves it- WORD!

Day 2:

Why not make it the Gold House? That would be sooo much more impressive than the White House. I mean, lots of people have white houses, but gold houses? This is gonna be yuge.

Day 3:

Changed African History Month to Alt. History Month. During Alt. History Month, Ben Carson will pay homage to all those immigrant slaves who swam to this country from Africa on camels.

Day 4:

I’m working on the traditions. On Donald’s Eve, send a bottle of Trump wine to the Gold House.  Packaged in a festive green and gold plastic bladder, they’ll be no worries about breakage or vintage. It’s the best bladder.

Note to self: Tell staffers to save receipts. Those in top 1% can use this as a write-off! Better yet, just include them with the wine – Donald’s the only one eligible.

Make America Grape Again!

Another customary offering is the Trump steak. It’s the best steak, served just this side of charred and dowsed in ketchup.

Note to self: Don’t forget to set out a few hunting rifles, knives and a modern home taxidermy set for Eric and Donnie Jr.

Barron would appreciate the removal of an r and a coat of arms to go with his new name. As for Ivanka, please someone, give her a job title.

It’s okay to ignore Tiffany, everyone else does.

Day 5:

I worked my little behind off today on planning the awesome decorations for Donald Eve.

Instead of an outdated fat man in a red suit, what better logo than The Donald himself? An inflatable Donald will be featured on The Gold House lawn, seated in a gilded sled, lined by white tiger fur and pulled by lions. Eric and Donnie Jr. have generously agreed to shoot and stuff the beasts themselves, no small feat, as there are only twenty left and ten of those are in zoos. How’s that for family spirit?!

This display will also be a rare chance to catch a glimpse of First Lady Melania, or at least a wax model of her, and really, what’s the difference? She’ll be posed on the floor of the sled at Donald’s feet, wearing nothing but diamonds and heels so long you could skewer kittens on them.

I’m considering having Donald’s Workshop in the background, featuring Spicer, Bannon, Tillerson and Conway hand-molded in Orbit cinnamon gum and dressed as elves. They’d look rad if they were animated! Maybe cutting up medical bennies and sewing them together as tax cuts for the .01%?

Day 6:

On, Memorial-to-Donald-Trump-Day. The Apprentice will be broadcast 24-7 on all the REAL networks. The clips will include footage of Donald receiving six Emmys. Arnold Schwarzenegger dart boards will be available for purchase at www.theGoldHouse.gov. He’s Fired!

Day 7:

On Thanks-for-Giving-us-Donald-Day We’ll erect golden cardboard walls in every park across the nation. By the time Pruitt’s done, that should total three. At the height of the blowout, inflatable immigrants will explode over the walls, whoever pops the most gets an ambassadorship.

The traditional meal for Thanks-for-Giving-us-Donald-Day is: overdone Trump steak with ketchup and Trump wine.

 

Then Kellyanne butted in without even knocking, just like she always does, nosey old bag.

“But isn’t that what the menu for Christmas, I mean Donald Eve was?”

“Yeah, so what?” I said.  “What did you used to eat on Thanksgiving?”

“Turkey?”

“And Christmas?”

“Turkey.”

“Snap, bitch!”

Day 8:

Father’s Day is now Donald’s Day. Because he’s an amazing dad, Donald-in-Chief says no gifts for him! Instead, please give to the children – his children.

Chinese manufacturing contacts for Ivanka’s clothing line may be sent to:

“TOP SECRET, The Gold House, Washington D.C.”

Eric and Donnie Jr. need a ten-week cert. to Bubba’s School of Taxidermy. Baron wants to be a Duke.

Day 9:

Independence –From-Barak-Obama-Day will be celebrated by the largest crowds ever, period.

Day 10:

On Donald Sunday, children will dye hard-boiled eggs orange and revel in the rising of our president. Kellyanne will host a Donald-egg hunt at the site of the infamous Bowling Green Massacre.

Day 11:

On Veterans-Shouldn’t–get-Captured-Day, we’ll all make fun of John McCain, by mumbling to the tune of, Oh Say Can You See:

Oh, say can you see, who was captured last nightNum num NUM num num num…. No one can sing that song anyway, after the first line they can either hum or shout ‘Lock Her Up!!!’ Hillary/McCain, who cares? The crowd will love it.

 Day 12:

On Trump-o-ween, the capital will be aglow with orange faces. Kids will buy Trump-o-ween candy direct from the Gold House and all the money goes to charity! Eric and Donnie Jr. will make sure of it

In the background, hovering ‘round an open fire, Vice-Mannequin Pence will make a special appearance in black robes thrusting an ‘A’ branding iron in the flames, as a warning to naughty girls.

Day 13:

“I Have All the Best Words Day” – A celebration of language

Live from New York, the First Lady will demonstrate how to say, “Hello, Goodbye,” and “Do you have bigger diamonds?” in seven languages, including Pig Latin.

 

Day 14:

On International Women – or Grab a Pussy Day

Ivanka will demonstrate how to walk in 36” Heels and hand out out 5% discount coupons for her clothing! Melania will give all girls 2% off the New Inflatable First Lady Doll! Twist her waist and her chest grows 3”! Comes with toy lion and diamonds.

This is gonna be a lotta work, but I’ve got it covered.

 

 

Just got a job as the White House Redecorator and Holiday Planner, because ya know, the place needs a lot more gold… also more stuffed lions. Fact is, I’m thinking of lining the entire front walkway with stuffed lions and maybe a couple of elephants as a shout out to Eric. The Orange Dude loves it- WORD!

Day 2:

Why not make it the Gold House? That would be sooo much more impressive than the White House. I mean, lots of people have white houses, but gold houses? This is gonna be yuge.

Day 3:

Changed African History Month to Alt. History Month. During Alt. History Month, Ben Carson will pay homage to all those immigrant slaves who swam to this country from Africa on camels.

Day 4:

I’m working on the traditions. On Donald’s Eve, send a bottle of Trump wine to the Gold House.  Packaged in a festive green and gold plastic bladder, they’ll be no worries about breakage or vintage. It’s the best bladder.

Note to self: Tell staffers to save receipts. Those in top 1% can use this as a write-off! Better yet, just include them with the wine – Donald’s the only one eligible.

Make America Grape Again!

Another customary offering is the Trump steak. It’s the best steak, served just this side of charred and dowsed in ketchup.

Note to self: Don’t forget to set out a few hunting rifles, knives and a modern home taxidermy set for Eric and Donnie Jr.

Barron would appreciate the removal of an r and a coat of arms to go with his new name. As for Ivanka, please someone, give her a job title.

It’s okay to ignore Tiffany, everyone else does.

Day 5:

I worked my little behind off today on planning the awesome decorations for Donald Eve.

Instead of an outdated fat man in a red suit, what better logo than The Donald himself? An inflatable Donald will be featured on The Gold House lawn, seated in a gilded sled, lined by white tiger fur and pulled by lions. Eric and Donnie Jr. have generously agreed to shoot and stuff the beasts themselves, no small feat, as there are only twenty left and ten of those are in zoos. How’s that for family spirit?!

This display will also be a rare chance to catch a glimpse of First Lady Melania, or at least a wax model of her, and really, what’s the difference? She’ll be posed on the floor of the sled at Donald’s feet, wearing nothing but diamonds and heels so long you could skewer kittens on them.

I’m considering having Donald’s Workshop in the background, featuring Spicer, Bannon, Tillerson and Conway hand-molded in Orbit cinnamon gum and dressed as elves. They’d look rad if they were animated! Maybe cutting up medical bennies and sewing them together as tax cuts for the .01%?

Day 6:

On, Memorial-to-Donald-Trump-Day. The Apprentice will be broadcast 24-7 on all the REAL networks. The clips will include footage of Donald receiving six Emmys. Arnold Schwarzenegger dart boards will be available for purchase at www.theGoldHouse.gov. He’s Fired!

Day 7:

On Thanks-for-Giving-us-Donald-Day We’ll erect golden cardboard walls in every park across the nation. By the time Pruitt’s done, that should total three. At the height of the blowout, inflatable immigrants will explode over the walls, whoever pops the most gets an ambassadorship.

The traditional meal for Thanks-for-Giving-us-Donald-Day is: overdone Trump steak with ketchup and Trump wine.

 

Then Kellyanne butted in without even knocking, just like she always does, nosey old bag.

“But isn’t that what the menu for Christmas, I mean Donald Eve was?”

“Yeah, so what?” I said.  “What did you used to eat on Thanksgiving?”

“Turkey?”

“And Christmas?”

“Turkey.”

“Snap, bitch!”

Day 8:

Father’s Day is now Donald’s Day. Because he’s an amazing dad, Donald-in-Chief says no gifts for him! Instead, please give to the children – his children.

Chinese manufacturing contacts for Ivanka’s clothing line may be sent to:

“TOP SECRET, The Gold House, Washington D.C.”

Eric and Donnie Jr. need a ten-week cert. to Bubba’s School of Taxidermy. Baron wants to be a Duke.

Day 9:

Independence –From-Barak-Obama-Day will be celebrated by the largest crowds ever, period.

Day 10:

On Donald Sunday, children will dye hard-boiled eggs orange and revel in the rising of our president. Kellyanne will host a Donald-egg hunt at the site of the infamous Bowling Green Massacre.

Day 11:

On Veterans-Shouldn’t–get-Captured-Day, we’ll all make fun of John McCain, by mumbling to the tune of, Oh Say Can You See:

Oh, say can you see, who was captured last nightNum num NUM num num num…. No one can sing that song anyway, after the first line they can either hum or shout ‘Lock Her Up!!!’ Hillary/McCain, who cares? The crowd will love it.

 Day 12:

On Trump-o-ween, the capital will be aglow with orange faces. Kids will buy Trump-o-ween candy direct from the Gold House and all the money goes to charity! Eric and Donnie Jr. will make sure of it

In the background, hovering ‘round an open fire, Vice-Mannequin Pence will make a special appearance in black robes thrusting an ‘A’ branding iron in the flames, as a warning to naughty girls.

Day 13:

“I Have All the Best Words Day” – A celebration of language

Live from New York, the First Lady will demonstrate how to say, “Hello, Goodbye,” and “Do you have bigger diamonds?” in seven languages, including Pig Latin.

 

Day 14:

On International Women – or Grab a Pussy Day

Ivanka will demonstrate how to walk in 36” Heels and hand out out 5% discount coupons for her clothing! Melania will give all girls 2% off the New Inflatable First Lady Doll! Twist her waist and her chest grows 3”! Comes with toy lion and diamonds.

This is gonna be a lotta work, but I’ve got it covered.

 

 

 

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Daily Fiction from E.E. King

Subscribe and follow and get a story a day from author/painter E.E. King – Hooray!

 

Ways the World Might End – The Reiki Master

 

Sara had been born with cancer which had disfigured her face and distorted her vision. She needed glasses and bought ones that were rose colored.

She tried to focus on heart and soul which could not be twisted by bad genes or evil luck.

She loved horses, their beauty and their strength. On their backs she skimmed above the earth, one with the wind. They did not care about her appearance or her status, but like most animals, listened only to the truth of her marrow.

She wanted the world to be as transparent as the energy of horses.

She began studying Reiki. Reiki comes from the union of two Japanese words – Rei, “the Higher Power” and Ki, “life force energy.”

Thus, a Reiki master sends healing energy and removes blocks, curing illness, lightening sorrow. Reiki can be done by the laying on of hands, or by sending energy without physical contact, a spiritual massage.

Sara studied Reiki I, II and Advanced. Ruth, her Reiki Master was a thin woman with a tight smile.

“You do not need to actually attend classes.” Ruth said. “I can send energy to you. My ability is passed on during an ‘attunement’ which will allow you to tap into an unlimited supply of life force energy, if you are receptive.”

Ruth did not seem to have an unlimited supply of life force, but Tara did not care, she knew she would feel the energy if only she believed.

“Reiki is not dependent on intellectual capacity or spiritual development and is therefore available to everyone.” Ruth said looking at her through narrowed eyes.

Tara tried to focus on the message. She appreciated Reiki’s egalitarianism. It shown like the sun, on the stupid and the brilliant, the evolved and the depraved alike. One only needed to believe and open one’s heart to the universe. Tara could do that.

“Before teaching your first class, additional practice doing the attunements is a good idea. If you can’t find someone to practice on, you can use a teddy bear,” Ruth said.

Sara could do better than that. She could send energy to those she loved best, the horses.

But sometimes energy can go awry. Vibrations sent to a wandering horse miss their target and a kennel of dogs start craving hay. In a hospital downwind of the stables, a women gave birth standing up.

Sara felt the energy twisting like tides beneath a bipolar moon. She tried to redirect it, but energy goes where it wants, despite the best intentions.

The President was in a meeting with the Chief of Staff when suddenly he began to eat the lumps of sugar straight out of the bowl as if they were candy. As if this wasn’t bad enough, he ate them with his teeth. When his secretary, Madelyn Mcsweety entered the room, he reared up whining, the bulge in his trousers evident. Wars can begin this way, in spite of all the good energy in the world.

Sara’s spirit was pure, but as anyone who has studied the law of attract will tell you, you attract not what you ask for, or even what you deserve, but what you are. Like calls to like across the universe.

Vibrations collide midstream.

Horses broke from their stables running free.

In cities and towns people opened their windows, they sniffed the air, tossed their heads and took to the hills. Even at night they stayed out, roaming free, eating grass. Unfortunately, humans can’t digest grass. They wasted away. Their white bones littering the hillside like the remains of fallen cities.

Only Sara remained. She did not crave grass, but only the company of horses and good energy. Now she had both.

 

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The Weird West

Source: The Weird West

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The Weird West

Ponderosa Principia Third Flatiron’s Spring anthology, “Principia Ponderosa,” is now available on Amazon and free to Kindle Unlimited members.

Flatiron’s anthologies are always packed with wonderful stories, stories that open corridors in your cerebral cortex revealing unimagined colors, scents and occasionally a fart- well it IS the Ponderosa.

So if you’re looking for some quick tales of the Weird West – a place  with witches, monsters, gunmen, dragons, six-shooters and whiskey  you’ve found it.

It’s a place and time that never was, yet somehow we’re all nostalgic for it . A place and a time where Carmel -eating spiders roamed the Gobi, men said “Ayup,” and sweet women shot mean guns.

You don’t have to be a western fan to enjoy this book. I’m not. It’s for lovers of fantasy. It  gave me the odd, somehow comforting sensation of looking forward from an imaginary past into an equitable future , a future that rewards the virtuous and punishes the guilty. As always, I liked some tales more than others, I’m sure you’ll have your own favorites. That is the beauty of anthologies, they’re buffets for the mind. There’s enough diversity to satisfy the pickiest brain; humor, horror as well as useful advice for dealing with the space ship’s cat, gardening in a post- apocalyptic world and that abridged classic The Jpeg of Dorian Gray.

 

If you or someone you know would like a free copy to review on

Amazon or Goodreads, please let me know. I’d be happy to send one your way, not because I’m in this anthology – though  I have been honored to be in other FlatIrons – But because they do good work.

So pull off ‘yer boots, tie up Bucko, pour yurself an ol’ whiskey and enjoy a good read –

 

 

Principia Ponderosa (Third Flatiron Anthologies Book 18)

Welcome to the “Principia Ponderosa,” land of wide-open spaces and dark dreams. This new anthology from Third Flatiron features 17  stories that combine elements of the Western with other literary genres, including steampunk, fantasy, occult, and…

AMAZON.COM

 

 

 

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ONE HUNDRED VOICES II

Paperback copies of One Hundred Voices Volume Two can now be pre-ordered – click on the link. Use my author discount code – it helps me and saves you 10%  Here it is:    100V2V70

My tale in there- The Cheddar Coast – is tale of love and toast – just what you need on cold winter nights.
It was first performed on January 8th, 2012 at the Federal Bar and Grill in NO HO (North Hollywood – we’re so cool)

By Sally Shore’s “The New Short Fiction Series”,
L.A.’s longest running spoken word series- showcasing the West Coast’s best new short fiction performed by Hollywood Actors
They kicked off their 16th season with a Book Launch of my first collection
“Real Conversations With Imaginary Friends,” by E.E. King

Although, sadly the publisher went out of print the book’s still available in audio, (just click the title) read by the amazing Simon Prebble. Simon is one of those fabulous British actors who makes reading a laundry list sound thrilling. You’ll find yourself staying up all night to see what’s happened to the plaid sock. (Spoiler alter – the gnome used it for a hat.)

When the book was first released, my mentor, Ray Bradbury, was still alive – God how we miss him- And he was kind enough to give me a quote:
“These tales are marvelously inventive, wildly funny and deeply thought provoking. I can not recommend them highly enough.” – Ray Bradbury 

LA WEEKLY
James Joyce Would’ve Loved This
… Deliciously funny and heart-wrenching.
Heidi Dvorak

Midwest Book Review
A collection of thoughtful short fiction from E. E. King as she offers humor and thought about life’s dreams and what we hold so dear to us all. .. an excellent collection, very much recommended.
Michael J. Carson

E.E. King is a unique talent whose glittering gems of fiction pack a lot into a small space. Her work combines the O. Henry twist with the poetry and mystery of Ray Bradbury.
Connie Martinson Talks Books

The piece The Cheddar Coast was later performed at the Shelter theater in San Miguel de Allende Mexico.

It was rerelease in my second collection, Another Happy Ending  available on-line, in print and audio

Buy them all! Why not? Food is overrated – The E.E. King Diet plan – a story a day, 99% imagination, Zero fat, gluten free  – feed your mind not your thighs.

I also urge you to buy One Hundred Voices Volume Two for less than $14.00 with my discount code:    100V2V70      and

One Hundred Voices Volume One – use this code to get 10% off Volume I   100V38

My story in that one, “The Rewards of Hospitality,” is about a squirrels with Alzheimer’s… every wonder where those forests came from?

Christian Lee, founder and publisher of Centum Press  pays additional royalties to me when they use my code- Christian is one of the most delightful and on the ball publishers I know – of course I only know three – but still-

Get my tale and 99 other stories – or Get both Volumes and get 200 storys – Feed that imagination – we need it!.

 

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